Men in Tights

Recently, while I was home for Christmas, more than one member of my family had a discussion with my sister about why I am still single.  My cousin was confused about why I am not dating anyone.  She used words like, "great personality," "funny," and "athletic." to describe me.  She figures I am a good catch because I'm "employed" and a "home-owner."  All great qualities to possess.

My sister then brought this conversation up with my dad.  Now don't get me wrong, I love my family with all my heart.  They mean well and they care a lot about me.  However, my dad did have a reason why he thinks I'm not dating anyone.  After he described me as looking much more "trim" this Christmas than in past years, he said that it could possibly the smell of my perfume that is turning men away.  (Time out to fill you in on my dad...he is 68 years old and he plays flight simulation video games on his computer....just the kind of guy I am trying to attract with my scent.)  But really, the smell of my perfume is repelling men?  Come on, Dad!

Well, there is one clear reason why I am still single...Men in Tights.  Okay, maybe not so clear...let me explain.

I have dabbled on and off with online dating.  Please, don't judge me yet!  Many of the stories I will share on this blog come from online dating and after you read them, you will see more and more why I am still single, but this one is a doozy.  The website that I have used, matches you with men and then once you view their profile, you can either close the match or send them a series of questions to "get to know them better."  I tend to send these questions to a few guys a week, but hardly any of them respond.  A few guys a week try to open the lines of communication with me.  Enter Fred.

Fred is a 33 year old Taco Bell shift manager.  Okay, so he has a job.  People would describe him as quiet, easy going, dependable, and caring.  Again, no problems there.  Things he can't live without are family, friends, laptop, tights, and food.  Ummm, tights?  Some additional information that he would like you to know:  "I enjoy wearing tights and love the feeling and the way my legs look in them. I enjoy see others wearing them also."  So, you must be thinking this is some kind of joke, but he has 7 pictures posted and in FIVE of those seven pictures is an overweight man wearing tights with shorts.  One caption says, "Just relaxing in my tights" or "Me at a hotel in my gray tights" or "Me at my old job in black tights".

Dad, it has nothing to do with my perfume.

(But just to be safe, I had more than one friend check my perfume; they said it was just fine.)